Wednesday, October 3, 2012

On the up and break up.

Confession: I've been listening to the new Taylor Swift release, "Red." I don't, not even close, hate this song. I think it's actually really cute and, obviously, catchy. 

I have had my fair share of relationships and I can't lie, I've been very ~lucky in love. I've never had a relationship with a person and later thought, what was I thinking? Yes, I've gone on dates like that(can't lie!), but never a relationship; I'd say that's a good thing. I am good friends with most of my previous relationships and we tend to get along really well, I've always been thankful for their friendship. It's never something I can do right away though, with all break ups comes a time you really have to let go, find the "out of relationship" self, that's hard. Then comes the beauty in all that, the break up, the time spent apart... you might then be able to salvage an amazing friendship, and then... maybe not (been there too). Sometimes things are just harder, sometimes those feelings are just too much and you realize you might never speak to that person again. That can be a crushing hit. 

Every so often I think about the one I wasn't able to salvage a friendship with, that relationship was apart of me for so long, that person was my right leg. There's closure in all of that though, learning to make friends, to be a person outside of another. For me, the first few years of my 20's was spent making plans around another person, using that other person as a crutch, after that relationship ended I spent time wondering how I was suppose to function, then I started to wonder how I was suppose to be human again, then I learned how to be the woman I wanted to be... on my own. Breakups are never easy, mine was a death... but, in that you have to find yourself. Cry, eat the ice cream, cry more, travel, cry, kick and scream, talk to everyone, cry more, scream, go on terrible post-break up dates, then cry about them. Ok, so I don't know if anyone else does all that... but, after all that mess, after the mascara runs, and talking to my friends everyday about the same thing, I realized I needed to find myself in all this mess. 

And I did.

I like the song a lot!

oh, and btw...

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