Sunday, March 31, 2013

Happy Easter!

I want to get a little real right now, because i'm overwhelmed with emotion this morning after Easter Service. I tuned in to my old church via (online streaming) and sometimes I forget the church that made church a positive message for me.

Seems silly, right? Church should always be a positive message, but it's just not. Maybe I'm "wrong" in this feeling, maybe I should step into all churches and feel Jesus everytime, but sometimes I step into a church and couldn't feel farther from God.

Now, I'm not a uber religious person and in most cases people would probably say i'm not religious at all, but little secret... I love Jesus and my home church and being surrounded by that feeling of love [every Sunday]. I don't make the best choices, right choices, most Jesus-centered choices enough... but that's okay. I fall off more times than not, but either way I am loved and that is what I want out of a church, a community of people who know why I'm there and that it might not always be the same story and that I could have majorly messed up this week, but that doesn't mean I am loved less.

I believe in my faith, the hope I have, the prayers I pray, the life I live/love... and I love that. I love this life, this stupid, confusing, lovely life I have been given and to feel like I do when I am at Crosspoint is a feeling you don't always feel in certain lights. Crosspoint makes me feel warm, loved, and just... normal.

Friday, March 29, 2013

Quickie. Bye!

Skirt: Target// Cardigan: Urban// Belt: JCrew// Booties: Clarks

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Fire Engine Red

Cardigan: H&M// Button up: Target// Pants: Minnie (JCrew)

Today is my Friday! Working for a Uni has a few perks, one being I get a mini-mini-such-a-small-Spring Break. I won't be going to the beach or sun bathing (though I should state, I'm see through now), I've got a day trip to Nashville planned, that's not-so definite. All this means is I might be spending my off-day reading in my bed... or buying an iPad.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

a little personal

I wish...

I was more flexible
My hair had more texture
Love was as easy as it used to be for me
Fear wasn't as prominent as it is now
Stopping a bad habit was simple
Staying faithful was never an issue
Missing someone didn't take over your soul
Jobs were easy to come by and paid more
Travel wasn't expensive
My computer was faster
My boobs were bigger
Stomach flatter (whine whine whine)
Working out was as glamorous as the Pinterest photos make it look
That deciding life wasn't so stressful
Coffee came out perfect each time
Equality was as equal as people think

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Alive and... well...

I will get back to regular posting next week. Here's today's outfit and for the last week i've been embracing the natural straightness of the hair I own...

Dress: IDEELI// Cardi: Aerie (duh)// Wedges: Target

Thursday, March 14, 2013


Sweater and pants: Gap// Heels: Urban

I give you outfit, because... well, life seems unbearably busy lately with things I can't put on the internet. So. Here's what I'm wearing today, it's boring and thrown together, but you'll love it because I'm wearing orange heels, right? right?! I actually just decided to dedicate this outfit to the Auburn Fans I probably upset at the Open House I worked for my Uni this past weekend. I told them they should come to my Uni because Auburn had a bad season... then I realized they were pppprobably Auburn fans and I pppprobably pissed them off. Luckily they laughed and seemed to think it was funny... I'm sure they cussed me the whole way to Auburn to sign their acceptance letter, or something.

Oh and I think I'm finally breaking down and buying an iPad... so there's that. I'm still wondering why I think I need one? But I do and that's all I have to say about that.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

death by hike

If there was ever a weekend I needed a good hike it was last weekend, if there was ever a weekend I take back the previous weekend and say if there's ever a weekend I need a hike, it's this weekend. Catch that? 

All in all this past weekend involved a hike, and this coming weekend will as well. Here's the before and afters. 

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Sweat sweat, I WORK OUT.

Shirt and Cardi: H&M// Skirt: Target

So, one of the only things on my mind lately is working out and eating "OKAY," as I call it. I can't kick it. I had a couple of days couple of weeks ago where it hit me that I was eating terribly and not really putting forth much effort at the gym. I love sweating, I love veggies, I really enjoy how much body feels after a really good workout. I also hate those people that are like "GAH I LOEV THE GYM IT'S MY SECOND HOME LOVE TO SWEAT YUH BRAH."

But, since I've started getting a little more serious about it all I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. I can't explain how my body feels, I'm really sore, but I feel so much lighter and my skin doesn't feel as dry? Is that even a thing? I have no idea honestly. I love it. I love pizza too, tho. Luckily pizza is basically a vegetable.

Oh and I did 10 pull ups last night. I'm kind of a bad ass.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Sweater Vest weather

Cardi: Aerie// Sweater Vest: Banana Republic// Tank: H&M// Pants: Gap// Flats: Target

Cold, rainy, and my ass is SORE. I started a different workout this week and first days are always deadly.

Sunday, March 3, 2013

1:30 AM, Sunday morning. A friend of mine sent me a text that said “Amber, is it bad that I want to get married?” He'd been drinking, yes, but he's had a hard time with women lately and I thought i'd throw out some WOMAN KNOWLEDGE on him, as I did this I found myself surprised by what I was saying- this was a topic I hadn't really talked about.

My friend is a hopeless romantic. I know because I dated him a long time ago.

I like talking about love; real love, but... not really the hopeless romance kind, or the kind where you say you love the other person after three dates. I like the love that makes you insane for a minute, then you find yourself in such a bubble of happiness that you don't even have to smile for people to feel what you are feeling, it's just... you. I guess you could say I'm a realist, but in no ways am I not in love with love. I'm just in love with love that lasts, love that doesn't take your breath away to the point you have to say "I love you" immediately. I love the kind that slowly shows you you've been breathing wrong the whole time and now you finally know how.

Let's start with what I know about fun...
I remember when my focus shifted from making sure I was having fun in my relationship, you know the way Stevie Nicks says, “you make lovin' fun,” to ok, next step, bro. I need a ring, then a house, then a baby... “where is this headed?” “why are we still just doing the same thing?” Do not mistake this for allowing yourself to sacrifice things you want [ie marriage] because your partner doesn't want it yet/might never want it. No. I merely mean stop forcing things, stop doing things or feeling things because it's the Social Norm. I remember the moment I realized I didn't have to get married by 23 (sweet, southern upbringing, amiright?) it was revolutionary. I had time! I didn't have to settle, I was allowed to shop around, be selfish, go on terrible dates, and make a couple mistakes, bag a couple terrible men and get through a few more heartbreaks. I think at some point it's healthy to start looking at the “next step” (whatever that might be for you), but it shouldn't take your focus off what you're working towards, which is what you have, a loving partner... and I want that partner to love our life together. I want my love to be fun. Always. Even when it's hard, even when I'm pissed, at least I know I love said person and all the work that has been put into it, has been fun, it's been work, none the less, but always fun and just... happy.

Too much, too soon...
We've all fallen too hard, too fast... I have, I can be the worst. I also have this habit of keeping my mouth closed when I do it. I never throw out the L word unless I feel confident in it, and by that I mean I've literally kept myself up at night thinking about how awful [heh] it is that I want to tell another human I love them.

For me there's the love that happens suddenly and it takes over, suddenly the only fully functioning organ is your heart, and you consider proposing after a week. There's, also, the love that builds. It doesn't mean I don't feel that feeling when they show up at my door, or tell me they can't wait to see me... it means we're both working at making this a real thing. I guess I've never really felt like the first love ever works out... mostly because we set this unrealistic standard for our feelings during those insane and lovely moments we are planning how we will propose to said person. Lets face it that bomb-ass-tastic lovin' feeling we feel for that person won't always be so lovely, it won't always be so in-your-face, and that's the moment I wait for. I love the love that builds, I live for that feeling, I live for the moments you're in bed at 11:00 PM on a Friday night laying on their chest in the dark, eat hot wings together on the couch, or when you yell at them to get you a towel and they tease you by holding it just far enough to make you step out of the shower to get it. Those are the moments that stick out in my head, never the moments I thought I fell in love with said person and had to shout it from the rooftop on day four of hangin'.

Enjoy the moments...
Do you remember the first time you hung out with your partner? How you couldn't wait for that second time? Because all the sudden the hang out session you thought was just a casual thing, left you wanting more? I have a few examples of things that became more without my conscience thought process. Those are the best, the ones I remember. I remember dating a man that lived out of town, we met week one, and he barely text me the next week, but when he did it was funny and cute, just enough to make me wonder. Mid-week he announced he'd be getting a hotel in the city with all his friends again and I should “try and come hang out.” The excitement of wondering what he meant, my mind was restless. The next week he invited again, this time to his apartment. Then there was the moment he announced he was “interested” in me, then there was the moment he said “I miss you” for the first time, etc. Moments. They are so small, but have such an impact. Moments of laughing on a swing in the dark where it's so cold you can't really feel your butt. Moments of falling asleep on a couch only to wake up to someone carrying you to bed. Moments when he introduces you as his girlfriend and your confusion and excitement take over. These are the times I remember, the times I feel the most. Now, lets say someone skips all that, goes straight for the destination without all the fun and stupid pit stops. It's not always about the destination, sometimes we have to enjoy stopping at the Peanut Monument in Who Knows Where, Georgia just as much as finally getting to Orlando, Florida. Yes?

There's my typical Sunday morning ramble.

Friday, March 1, 2013

here's to a whole lot of nothing.

Sweater and button up: Old Navy// Pants: H&M

I wore this... Wednesday? I wish I had more [interesting] words to write here! Got a lot on my mind, so that usually translates to not knowing what to type that it's spilling my guts to the whole internet, slash making my mayhem Google searchable. Ew, that sounds terrible.

I will say this hair cut is really making me want more gone.

Also, this week is coming to an end and I successfully ate semi-healthy. I feel pretty great, a lot lighter, I think this is how a body should feel. I've also been working out twice a day. Now, by working out I mean during lunch I will go run a mile and then after work I will do something like Pilates, Turbokick, or something that gets me going. Again, this has been really nice, kind of refreshing, plus it helps me control bringing my lunch and not shopping on break. Yes, I am totally into tricking myself into things.

This weekend I'm going to try and stay on track with the food, other than the fact I AM going to have some Etouffee from my fav New Orleans-style place. AM. I WILL. Saturday my friend Tom and I are going a mud hike in the 30-40 degree weather. Sunday I will most def having coffee with an old friend from High School, then breaking out the BIKE. It's pretty cold out, but I just really need to be outside this weekend.