Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Would you look at that body language? Legs crossed towards each other. That is an unequivocal sex invite.

My girlfriends and I talk about men a lot. That's because they always leave us with someone to talk about, whether it's an amazing night or a lackluster, terrible, gag me with a spoon date. Always something to talk about.

We know by nature it's a mans desire to have what he seeks and sometimes (hunter statz, f'real) [most the time] they get it all wrong. Seriously, I cannot tell you how many times (in our group of exceptionally amazing girls) they've gotten it All Wrong. So... listen. Put down your motorcycle magazine, close the Google Chrome window that contains all the questionable things you been looking at as a result of doing it all wrong, and read.

1.) Focus, dude. Learn to pay attention to what a woman says and know what to remember. Her birthday is a month away, bam... here's a chance to impress her. Is she drinking beer? Does she love beer?! Oh there's a brewery down the street she hasn't been to?  Sometimes it's that simple. But I'm a woman, I get this junk.

2.) Her friends should fall in love with you. This this huge. I mean The Spice Girls used questionable wording with their Zigga Zig hit, but really, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends." Out with her and her girlfriends? Buy a round. I'm not saying get your flirt on with her hot friends, but the girls gon' talk after you leave, or when she leaves your place (yeah, you're hoping) and you want everything she says about you to be good, but really you should also be serious about making sure what her friends say is even better. Do I look like I'm kidding here?

3.) Kiss the girl. Some people might be more modest than others, but personally? Kiss me. I lovehate the wait, but that first kiss reminds me you're interested, and makes my guessing game less such. Don't get me wrong, I said lovehate. There's a part of me that loves it, that freakish game playin' version of myself that loves the chase and yearning... whatever, kiss me, dammit. I remember when my best friend of 7 years kissed me out of the blue at a bar last year, he literally said, "I've wanted to do that for 7 years." All my first kisses have been memorable, and most have been on the first date :-o (*NOTE: this might not apply to all women)

4.) Recognize the competition. Here's something: you're not the only dude after this girl. She's smart? cool? pretty? Dude, you've got competition. Get your hand out of your pants and do work.

5.) Entertain meeeeeeeeeeee (and i'll entertain you back, cross my heart). I don't want to sit at your house every night and bake cookies. Let's go play. Let's meet up with friends (que 2), LET'S PUTT PUTT and eat corndogs.

6.) Consistency. I never realized how much this mattered (or maybe I just couldn't figure out the word to label it under), until that same best friend (3) told me about his new interest. He said he liked her, but since seeing her was now ready for consistency. They'd only been on a few dates and I cringed at the thought of consistency meaning "let's go in a relationship" on the Facebook. But, he didn't mean that... he meant he needed her to either like him or not, and show it or not; don't give anyone this back and forth bull.

You like her? Then tell them one good time, show them, and be consistent with your words and actions.

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