As you can tell I went through a bang-hate stage last week; they were making me so angry. This week we started a new and embraced the forehead blanket, I also thought deeply about buying a cat sweater, and spent a lot of time with my dog.
I'm not an introvert. And this might get nasty. I never meant for this blog to go *there.*
Let me just say i'd talk to the wall if I had no choice. Sometimes I do and I have a choice. I have never been shy; ok, maybe when I was in grade school and when I thought slip on Nikes were cool and no one thought I was cool (btw the slip ons WERE cool, whatever). I know for a fact since ~20 I have been ridiculously friendly to everyone, then ~23 rolled around and I literally threw my hands in the air. I have been so friendly that I almost forget that I am worthy of picking who I want to be in my life. Not to say that anyone in my life is not ~worthy~ of me...I am just sick of the bullshit sometimes.
I cuss, esp when I mess up.
I like beer.
I like to go to bed early during the week.
Sometimes I just can't text you, because sometimes I am legit involved.
I take too many pictures of everything (esp babies and my dog).
I really enjoy my girlfriends, I love hanging out with them and talking about things I can't say out loud in mixed company.
Being from Alabama you are suppose to exude some sort of ~Southern Charm and Grace~. I feel like I can be charming and well, totally not graceful... but I don't think my charm is the tea length skirt and southern drawl kind.
I also think it's really stupid that I tried to change that about myself recently. It's not fair to the people I am around and it's so not fair to myself. It was fun to try though. There's something to say about that. I tried, totally failed, and realized I am exactly what I've hoped i'd become... totally me. I'm totally perfect for me. I refuse to apologize anymore, to feel bad for who i've become, the stances I take, and the boys I kiss.
I've also been taking zero outfit pictures lately. Oops.
What are Mondays for, if not celebrating your friends 25th birthday with margaritas and movies (even though I bounced out of the scene early... a 9:20pm movie is a tad late for me on a Monday)?!
Happy 25th... I mean, 21st birthday, Kacy! You're amazing and I am so happy I have you in my life. I love our gross text messages and even grosser conversations.
1. Nathan is home from Afghanistan and it's always good to get a chance to hang out and catch up when he makes the 10 hour trek to the south. 2 & 3. Out with the girls on Saturday! Always a good time. 4. Wedding with my good friend Ben on Friday, danced and drank. Also, always a good time with Ben. 5. Ran into a Stormtrooper, nerdin' out. 6. I die at funny corgi pictures.
Knights of the Financial Aid office. Defend thy honor!
Blowing up beach balls for a homecoming project at the Uni.
I kind of love my job. That's one thing I've never been able to say about previous jobs. And now this is where I get to come everyday and just be happy about where I work and the people I work with as well as build my CAREER, that's really exciting! Seriously... such an amazing feeling.
Can't lie though, I wish I were in the mountains, at a ski resort, drinking coffee, and watching it snow right about now.
Confession: I've been listening to the new Taylor Swift release, "Red." I don't, not even close, hate this song. I think it's actually really cute and, obviously, catchy.
I have had my fair share of relationships and I can't lie, I've been very ~lucky in love. I've never had a relationship with a person and later thought, what was I thinking? Yes, I've gone on dates like that(can't lie!), but never a relationship; I'd say that's a good thing. I am good friends with most of my previous relationships and we tend to get along really well, I've always been thankful for their friendship. It's never something I can do right away though, with all break ups comes a time you really have to let go, find the "out of relationship" self, that's hard. Then comes the beauty in all that, the break up, the time spent apart... you might then be able to salvage an amazing friendship, and then... maybe not (been there too). Sometimes things are just harder, sometimes those feelings are just too much and you realize you might never speak to that person again. That can be a crushing hit.
Every so often I think about the one I wasn't able to salvage a friendship with, that relationship was apart of me for so long, that person was my right leg. There's closure in all of that though, learning to make friends, to be a person outside of another. For me, the first few years of my 20's was spent making plans around another person, using that other person as a crutch, after that relationship ended I spent time wondering how I was suppose to function, then I started to wonder how I was suppose to be human again, then I learned how to be the woman I wanted to be... on my own. Breakups are never easy, mine was a death... but, in that you have to find yourself. Cry, eat the ice cream, cry more, travel, cry, kick and scream, talk to everyone, cry more, scream, go on terrible post-break up dates, then cry about them. Ok, so I don't know if anyone else does all that... but, after all that mess, after the mascara runs, and talking to my friends everyday about the same thing, I realized I needed to find myself in all this mess.
