Tuesday, October 22, 2013


How's life in Denver? It's busy, but I'm ready to get back to writing! It's working late most days and not knowing when to take a lunch. It's finding friendship in a roomie when you feel like you might not have anyone else. It's drinking too much and being happy a friend of a friend is enough of a friend to walk you home. It's missing home everyday and wondering how you're going to survive until Christmas without your family. It's missed Skype dates with your girlfriends because you're on a real ""date."" 
It's just everything. I can't say it's been easy, it's been tough, some days are really hard and all I want to do is go home to what I still think of as my real bed, back home. Most nights I wish I were putting on sandals and running to grab wings with my four best girlfriends back home. Things are so different and it's scarier now than it was a few months ago. But. Survival. Right!
I've had time to settle, to learn my way home without Google maps, to put up décor on my walls. I'm home and I still don't have enough hangers.
In other news I finally spoke to my ex boyfriend about what happened to us. It's different knowing I live far enough to end everything in my mind. It ended so long ago, but now the real settling feeling of not being there, right there, just in case. I'm tired of just in case, but it's so comforting. Things are a mile a minute in my head, I've over thought so much in the last year, and I'm so tired of thinking, wondering, wishing, waiting... is that Jack Johnson coming through my fingertips?

I'm happy though. I'm not whole, not by a billion, but I'm happy. I'm happy about the mountains, about the plane ticket to take me home for the holidays, about my roommate, and girlfriends, I'm happy that I finally asked questions, that I received answers, and I'm happy that my new bed feels nothing like my old bed. 

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