When someone breaks your heart there's tendency to make a conscience effort to forget them, but when we forget someone, does that leave room to forgive them? Not to just forgive them, but really forgive them and set yourself free of that anger?
This isn't a ~1, 2, 3, forgive and set free~ hopscotch to serenity. I has never really forgiven until about a year ago; who knew? I can't say I made a conscience effort, but I can say it took a long time, and when the day came and that moment revealed itself to me, it was so obvious. I was in church and we were discussing something so far from forgiveness, but when the music started playing and I started praying it was like a "bag of rocks hitting me in the face" moment. Why was my heart so hard? I had been holding onto the "forget" them that I forgot that my heart will not heal until I forgive them, not just kind of, not just a little, not even like mostly, I had to really, truly, fully forgive them.
This moment didn't hurt, it didn't make me want to contact them, it didn't make me barf or feel incredibly happy; it calmed me. In this moment I felt able to become whole again, my heart wasn't un-broken, my thoughts were focused though and I knew with time my heart would heal more fully than it would without the forgiveness I was yearning for.